Politics

The Council of Representatives is responsible for administering the affairs of the Concordia Student Union. It was decided by a unanimous vote at yesterday’s Regular Council Meeting that a new bylaw amendment would be introduced to “democratize” the CSU.

The amendment would remove elections.

“Students are just not informed. And people need to understand that when uninformed people vote… it is not democratic. [In] fact it is undemocratic,” said an Arts & Science Councilor Jamet-Lange.

Students are just not informed.
— Councilor

The proposal would replace the current elections system by extending the term limits of Councilors indefinitely. When a Councilor decides to retire, they would select their successor.

“This new system will ensure that informed decisions are always being made in the Union,” said Jamet-Lange.

The General Coordinator criticized the motion, stating that this system resembled a dictatorship. Councilors did not share his opinion, responding that he should stop talking about toilets and appoint a new Sustainability Coordinator already.

When asked for comment, Engineering Councilor James Hanna stated that he will be appointing “meat” as his successor.

All your friends talk about butter, how much they crave it, how they feel when they eat a good toast with butter.

They describe its texture, feeling, butteriness, and give you detailed accounts of the last time they had butter.

Of course butter is great, it definitely tastes nice, but to think about it constantly?

Yes.

When I wake up every morning, I immediately smear butter all over my toast. I then smear it all over my arms and legs, until I am, as they say, all buttered up. I then walk out my door and fall down the stairs.

I wake up… I am in the hospital… I am surrounded by loved ones and told that I only have a few days to live. What do I do? I want to do something important, like dedicate my last few days to helping the homeless or the poor.

Maybe write some revolutionary poetry. But instead I sit there, with broken limbs, smearing myself with butter.

I can’t stop.

Ok this is all metaphor… Help, I can’t stop masturbating!

The Council of Representatives decides to democratize the CSU by removing elections.

Politics

Closed Letter: Masturbation is Butter. Do you like butter?